I know, I know! It all has to do with the bizarre way Bain Capital was organized. I kept thinking, if old Romney was the CEO, and the president, and the chairman, and the sole shareholder in 1999-2002, wouldn't he have been obliged to show up once in a while, just to avoid awkward rumors? ("I heard that Romney's out on the West Coast in one of those rehab facilities—seems in the end he just couldn't handle the chocolate milk.")
But then the New York Times took a little time to explain to me. The Bain Capital, Inc., to which Romney was Lord High Everything was not the same entity as the Bain Capital that did all the deals. Indeed, in a certain sense the latter did not exist. Every time they did a deal they would put together a new little entity, with a name like "Bain Capital Investors Inc. VI" or "Bain Capital Investors Inc. VII", in which all the partners would be partners, and it was all these little Bains smooshed together, like pictures of square dancers in a kaleidoscope, that constituted the famous company. Presumably the structure turned their salaries into capital gains and reduced everybody's income tax by 50%.
But Romney's company was the managing company that managed them all, and so he had to do what managers always do, to wit, nothing. In Boston, of course, he was also one of the active partners, so he must have been busy schmoozing and golfing and flying hither and yon to negotiate. The managing part would have taken up so little of his time, though, that he could move to Salt Lake City and "24/7" Olympics responsibilities, and continued on as bishop of Boston as well, and nobody would ever notice.
However, this is exactly what he is desperate that the American public should not know, that managers don't actually do anything; since it's a central part of his campaign that his managerial experience qualifies him uniquely for the presidency, just like Herbert Hoover.
Then again, I don't suppose he's aware that managers don't do anything. Most managers think they work like hell; or as David Brooks puts it,
The Times also noted that in 2002, after the brilliant Olympics were over, Romney had to fight off Democrats who said he wasn't qualified to be governor of Massachusetts, not having lived there for the past three years. To the contrary!
But then the New York Times took a little time to explain to me. The Bain Capital, Inc., to which Romney was Lord High Everything was not the same entity as the Bain Capital that did all the deals. Indeed, in a certain sense the latter did not exist. Every time they did a deal they would put together a new little entity, with a name like "Bain Capital Investors Inc. VI" or "Bain Capital Investors Inc. VII", in which all the partners would be partners, and it was all these little Bains smooshed together, like pictures of square dancers in a kaleidoscope, that constituted the famous company. Presumably the structure turned their salaries into capital gains and reduced everybody's income tax by 50%.
But Romney's company was the managing company that managed them all, and so he had to do what managers always do, to wit, nothing. In Boston, of course, he was also one of the active partners, so he must have been busy schmoozing and golfing and flying hither and yon to negotiate. The managing part would have taken up so little of his time, though, that he could move to Salt Lake City and "24/7" Olympics responsibilities, and continued on as bishop of Boston as well, and nobody would ever notice.
However, this is exactly what he is desperate that the American public should not know, that managers don't actually do anything; since it's a central part of his campaign that his managerial experience qualifies him uniquely for the presidency, just like Herbert Hoover.
Then again, I don't suppose he's aware that managers don't do anything. Most managers think they work like hell; or as David Brooks puts it,
They work much longer hours than people down the income scale, driving their kids to piano lessons and then taking part in conference calls from the waiting room.Oh, those conference calls! It's worse than picking cotton!
The Times also noted that in 2002, after the brilliant Olympics were over, Romney had to fight off Democrats who said he wasn't qualified to be governor of Massachusetts, not having lived there for the past three years. To the contrary!
For 30 years, his lawyer argued, “the center of his social, civic and business life has been in this commonwealth.”He got that gig, as we know. Now he wants a gig for which, oddly, he is supposed to say that he did not live in Massachusetts from 1999 to 2002. So he'll say that. It doesn't matter, in the final analysis, which is true; he'll lie whichever way works. But oh, it does put him out of joint when they make him contradict himself.
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| Birnam Wood. From iTravelUK.co.uk. |
