Hazards of Metro Toronto

Moose Poop

Roundup Time

Lillian Gish in Orphans of the Storm (D.W. Griffith, 1921). From Film Fanatic.
Following on the Vixen, but pushing it a little too hard as usual (she only listed five!), I've assembled a list of favorite posts of my own for the year, focusing on those that didn't attract as many readers as I thought they deserved. Poor little things! All they want is a little affection, and maybe a comment or two wouldn't hurt?

January: It struck me that the idea of Obama as our first Jewish president is more than just an easy laugh. I.e., it's an uneasy laugh. Not so much because there is something Jewish about him, though there is, as because of the way right-wingers hate him, which is modeled on classic anti-Semitism, as Clinton hatred was modeled on anti-black racism. A philosophical-semiotic followup bringing in the First Ladies is here.

Mayor Bloomberg and schools chancellor Klein commissioned a study to prove that the Small High Schools of Choice they favor are better than big high schools; just as always, when scholars know in advance what conclusions they are expected to come to, the study was full of shit, but nobody at the Times noticed. And nobody reads me, of course, but I tore the thing apart. Also I got to quote David Mamet.

February: I can't stand the way right-wingers use the term "federalist" to mean "anti-federalist", thereby associating themselves in retroactionary fashion with our progressive Constitution, which they in fact oppose (they'd be more comfortable with the Articles of Confederation). Washington and Hamilton and Adams liked them some Big Government (not fat, but tall and strong) and so did Madison and Jefferson, for that matter, except whenever they were in opposition. Here's my tirade.

This was the month I started posting "Cheap Shots" on Fridays (my New Year's blog-resolution is to get back to doing it regularly). Eventually they achieved considerable popularity, by my pathetic standards, but the early ones were not much noticed, including this one, featuring an extremely unkind Dana Loesch joke.

March: One of my biggest preoccupations since I started blogging has been the fear of a U.S.-Iran war, along with the hope that Obama really means to prevent it, which I am always trying to influence not directly, I realize these grand persons are not attending to me, but by some kind of observer's paradox effect. These posts often get a lot of attention (nobody ever leaves a comment, so I don't know why), but two of them in March that I thought were a little more coherent than usual got almost none, one on Obama's diplomatic language, and one on correcting the Israeli sense of tragedy with a Jewish sense of comedy.

April: Easter post: Our crack political team reporting from Jerusalem on the trial and execution of a certain dissident rabbi...

May and June: We lost my mom, and I lost most of my larynx and spent an unconscionable amount of time in the hospital. One of the things (beside the helpmeet and kids, and siblings, and their helpmeets and kids, who were all amazing) that brought some cheer in this desolate time was somehow the politics in France, of all places, which I found myself taking quite personally, and halfway believing in, as if socialiste really meant "socialist", and which led me to some philosophical reflections of uncharacteristic earnestness. (Mom would have been pleased about the French elections, but seeing Obama reelected would have been much better; of course she was confident he'd win.)
Jan De Bray, ca. 1627-1697, The Care of Orphans.
July: I guess I was in the hospital when I started getting obsessed with David Brooks, perhaps the most deeply dishonest of our famous political commentators. One of my favorite early efforts was this Shorter on the moviehouse massacre in Colorado, which has some renewed relevance in light of the school shooting in Connecticut.

August: Then senatorial candidate, now ex-congressman Todd Akin brought me all the way back to high Swiftian rage with his comments on the physiology of rape. Of course everybody had to write something about Akin's peculiar beliefs, but only Yastreblyansky was able to tie it in with the beliefs expressed in the Roman Catholic Catechism, to say nothing of recycling that Dana Loesch joke in a greatly improved version.

September: The big Republican pseudo-scandal of the 9/11 anniversary season was the news that Obama sometimes didn't go to his Presidential Daily Briefing. ZOMG we're doomed! Something told me it might not be that serious, and indeed, it turned out to be even less serious than that. And for the High Holy Days, a take on a hilarious Christianist approach to interpreting the Bible on poverty and government.

Also, an extended discussion of what I believe is David Brooks's most ethically reprehensible column since I've been studying him, where, as I wrote,
I don't know that David Brooks should be busted for plagiarism here, even though he fails to credit [Paul] Tough for three quarters of his material. But I don't think you can properly call what he's done "fair use" either; to use an author's words to point toward a conclusion that the author would not dream of drawing....
October and November: As Brooks grew more and more crazed with the approach of the election, I finally began trying to channel his voice directly, as in this discussion of Burkean moderation; another example from after Romney's defeat is chosen to illustrate how his broadest anthropological musings, on changing family structures for instance, can be grounded entirely in a single unreviewed self-publication by an academic grifter writing "out of a Christian worldview".

December: And finally, why do we keep denying our War on Christmas? I'm bringing mine out of the closet, and putting Baby Jesus back in his! Yule be sorry you missed it!

Happy New Year to all, from Gene Autry.


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Movies

The normal schedule precludes much movie-going, but now HOLIDAYS, so it is time to be properly gouged.

First was Life of Pi, which I am told is pretty faithful to the book. So the book must have a framing device in which an author has a writing block and wants a story. In the film, that frame can be dropped. It must be the whole point of the book, but when the rest of the movie has carnivorous islands and the shipwreck of a zoo ship and leaping phosphorescent whales I want nothing to do with two guys in a suburban environment talking. What they are eventually talking about is a ridiculous theological proposition that is pretty much this: "It was all just a crazy dream...OR WAS IT? And you know what? The crazy dream is PROOF OF GOD." It's like Pascal's Wager for hippies and it undermines everything. Had the movie simply been a guy and a tiger on a boat it would have been a better film. It is, however, very very pretty.

The Hobbit was like Lord of the Rings but it starts with the boring part instead of ending with the boring part. I was honestly considering sleeping about a third of the way through and I was much amused when I heard someone doing so, but it turned out it was an on-screen event. It eventually picks up and becomes what you expect it to be, minus a main character. The guy who plays Bilbo does a convincing job of being a nonentity thrust into adventure, and remains the least interesting thing on the screen for the length of the film. Oh and NO YOU DO NOT NEED THAT MUCH 120 PIECE ORCHESTRA IN EVERY GODDAMNED SCENE.

Searching for Sugar Man is a documentary about South Africans trying to figure out the fate of an American singer you've never heard of who is unaccountably the biggest thing in music there, bigger than Elvis and The Rolling Stones. I don't want to add spoilers here because remarkable things happen, but it's a good story I am glad I saw, bad film. Questions you have will not be pursued, scenes you want to see were either not filmed or not included. It would have been much better to see a film about the singer than a film about the nostalgia of the people who liked him. And yet, worth the money.

Here is a recreation of my favourite part of Django Unchained:

Django Unchained is a relatively linear enterprise, tight by Tarantino standards, and it's fun fun fun. Christoph Waltz talking is tremendously entertaining all the time, and Tarantino is playing as much as directing. Where long bouts of talk happen, potential payoffs for the scene - emotional and technical - are in view and there is tension. There are laffs not far removed from Blazing Saddles, there is furious violence and vengeance fit for spaghetti westerns, and it rides an excellent line between HEY LOOK IT'S ME QUENTIN TARANTINO MAKING A MOVIE (which to my mind already has benefits (except for him being on-screen again)) and an involving story that hangs together well. There's a degree of manipulation that must be helping: people have strong emotions about slavery so maybe that revulsion (and attendant approval of revenge fantasies) helps draw you back into the proceedings after a bout of Tarantino's fiddling about with image theft and abrupt zooms. That's not to slight most of the cast doing a great job. Go see it if you can handle violence.

I Summon the Demons of the North

The Curse of Christmas

The Vamp of the Succubus

One or two Lumps?

As the defeated Tea Party legions begin their long trek west from Moscow, out come the traditional-minded Republican senators and their cocktail friends—haven't Susan Collins and Max Baucus, for instance, been in the headlines an awful lot lately?—to see what damage they can do in the intervening chaos. Yesterday's report was of Senators Corker and Alexander (formerly known as Lamar! with the exclamation point included, anybody remember that?) to demand that the retirement age be raised, or they'll blow up the debt ceiling, trapping us all inside the building.

Now old Lindsey-Woolsey* Graham is on board with the same extortion plan.

Sorry, I don't negotiate with terrorists.

*I have long felt that "Huckleberry", with its cornpone crackle, makes a lousy nickname for this starchy, perpetually indignant fussbudget.
First edition of Tasha Tudor's book (New York: Oxford University Press, 1946).
Why is it, do you suppose, that they're so fixated on that particular item? I mean, I can really understand the thing about cutting Medicare and Medicaid benefits: it may be a bad solution, but it is to a problem that actually exists. But surely Corker and Alexander have heard by now that Social Security does not contribute to the deficit, will not be in trouble for a good many years, and will be easy to fix when it happens.

Are they just envious of retired friends and neighbors Facebooking their endless vacations, while they themselves must spend literally days every month in tedious Washington haranguing tongue-tied committee witnesses? Is it a moral issue—is our social substance being consumed by shiftless 69-year-old bucks blowing their checks on T-bone steaks, Cadillacs, and smartphones? A-and listening to that filthy bebop music?

Or are they merely representing the old Markets hungry, boss. Must feed markets, plenty fresh cash, or P-E rate go down rent-seeking institutions in their eternal quest for the money nobody else seems to be using at the moment? Because the bond market gets to play with your Social Security as long as you're not collecting it?

Be that as it may, what I was thinking about was something completely different: whether there's a relationship between delayed retirement and unemployment, such that making all us dotards keep slaving away until we're 70 will have the effect of making it harder than ever for others to find jobs—youngsters, and middle-aged layoff victims.

Because, as it happens, there's a good deal of delayed retirement going on already:
In 2009, 31 percent of eligible people signed up for Social Security, up from 27 percent in 2007. But the take-up rate has since declined to 28.3 percent in 2010 and 26.9 percent in 2011. The Urban Institute found that a smaller proportion of eligible people signed up for Social Security in 2011 than in any other year since 1976.
The rise in retirements from 2007 to 2009 was a response to the housing-and-finance crisis which put so many out of reach of ever getting a job again; the later decline reflects the changes in Social Security that have already taken place, the general crappiness of the new-style pension plans (just ask Richard Armey!), and a higher educational attainment that puts more of us in jobs that we are physically able to do until we have to be carted away into the R&R we can't afford.
Uncredited image from the apparently now defunct blog Upper Italy, in a post that reminds us that linsey-woolsey, a "garment mingled of linen and woolen", is shatnez, an abomination unto the Lord (Leviticus 19:19).
Well, Dr. Google informs me that the received wisdom among economists is that I am guilty of the Lump of Labor fallacy in expecting delayed retirements to interfere with employment growth. Or rather, that early retirements don't increase employment, as they used to believe in Europe in the 1980s and still do in France. The fact that they still believe it in France is a sign that it's a little more complicated than that.

The Lump of Labor fallacy is when** you believe that any community has a fixed amount of work that has to be done, so that for example if you hire immigrants you are taking work away from the natives. It was first used to mock the English Luddites who believed that the spinning jenny would eliminate their jobs, which of course it didn't.*** Obviously the amount of work in a given community constantly changes, the work itself being one of the factors (the more suits you make the more dry cleaners you require). When you add immigrants, you add economic activity, so the number of jobs may increase. Thus, anybody who really believes in the Lump of Labor is an idiot.

I'm no economist, but I must warn you, I have studied logic, and this putdown is a transparent, elementary straw man. You don't need to believe in the Lump of Labor to worry about the retirement system affecting the jobs market; all you need is to walk into your local Barnes & Noble and look at the grumpy 70-year-old manning a cash register, doing a job that is a godsend for a student or aspiring actor sharing an apartment and groceries with five other people, but is of very little use to this guy.

There is no fixed number of jobs in a community, but there are historical moments when there is a shortage of jobs, and they happen when there is a deficit of demand, and that comes when nobody has enough money. Like, uh, now. And if you force people to remain at an advanced age in jobs they don't want (don't look at me, I love my job), it's not going to help. Lumps of Labor have nothing to do with it.

**See the very remarkable Ecological Headstand for a splendid tirade against Professor Krugman, who seems to be somewhat on the right on this topic, a complete history of the Lump of Labor trope, and much more.

***Although, didn't England virtually have to mummify South Asia and later Africa in English cotton in order to keep the industry going?

Food and Drink

In the morning, before movies, a grilled cheese sandwich from Canteen. The pickled grapes are good on their own, but the recipe for those and the sandwich is here. Added slice of margherita pizza and pumpkin soup.



After movies a couple of undistinguished pints and then off to Miskatonic University Barchef for drinks.

From the sweet and sour portion of the menu two girlie drinks, Strawberries and Lavender on the left, Currant on the right:



Then, from the Molecular portion of the menu, a sort of bubbling half-liquid enchambered in mournful mists from the summit of Hatheg-Kla:



No wait, it's the most insane Manhattan ever:



A pre-human Hyperborean worshipper of Tsathoggua dares you to pluck from the nauseating effluence of miasmal gases...a SAILOR'S MOJITO.

Vagabond Scholar: Jon Swift Memorial Roundup 2012

Vagabond Scholar: Jon Swift Memorial Roundup 2012

Batocchio, at Vagabond Scholar, has posted some 57 self-selected best posts of 2012 from mostly small blogs at the Jon Swift Memorial Roundup 2012. I volunteered a David Brooks piece. Some of the stuff is lovely, and all is worth checking out.

Jon Swift was a blogger posting from the "reasonable conservative" perspective (something like Stephen Colbert only aimed at a literate audience), an imaginary creature possessing the mind of the writer Al Weisel, who died much too young a couple of years ago. His own "Best of Jon Swift" compilation is as rich as a Christmas pudding but much funnier. He was also a strong and generous supporter of little bloggists, whence the annual roundup that Batocchio has continued in his name.
Photo by Lusi, RGB Stock.

Wheeeee!

Or is it Wiiiii?

Former House majority leader Dick Armey says he took an $8 million consulting deal in return for leaving the conservative organization FreedomWorks because the group was "dishonest" and because he "couldn't leave with empty pockets."
The arrangement, he says, will allow him to "never have to work again forever."
In an interview with ABC News as he was winding down his Wii Fit workout, Armey spoke frankly and at length about his dispute with FreedomWorks, his eyebrow raising consulting contract, and the strategy of the Republican Party. (Via Jesse Singal at Political Animal)
Whatever it is, it's delicious. Jesse was reduced to helpless giggles by the detail of the Wii Fit workout, and no wonder—it made me think the whole thing must be a spoof, but the fact is you can't make stuff like that up, at least not unless you're Shakespeare or Flaubert or in that general league.
Image from The MedFriendly Blog.
By the way, Armey denies the persistent rumor that any guns were waved when he shook down his former employer. But the 72-year-old ex-congressman is hardly hiding that it's a shakedown. The payoff is from one of the FreedomWorks board members, "reclusive Illinois millionaire" Richard Stephenson, of the cancer-profiteering Cancer Treatment Centers of America, who has promised to pay Armey $400,000 a year until he's 92, as a consultant. And what is it consultants do, actually?

"So Dick was saying, 'You know, Armey, my family and I have heard your story, about how you can't afford to retire and we want to help with your retirement,'" Armey said. The former leader of the House Republicans said it was a deal he just couldn't refuse.
Heh-indeed!
Image from Geek Preview.

Even in Death, a Painter of Light

'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all.
SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) — Thomas Kinkade's widow and girlfriend have reached a settlement after a dispute over the late artist's $66 million estate, their attorneys said Wednesday.

[...]

In a statement, they said the women kept Kinkade's message of "love, spirituality and optimism" in their amicable resolution.
Aww, so sweet.
Pinto, who began dating Kinkade six months after his marriage of 28 years imploded, claimed Kinkade wrote two notes bequeathing her his mansion and $10 million to establish a museum of his paintings. Her lawyers filed court papers stating that she and Kinkade had planned to marry as soon as his divorce went through.

Nanette Kinkade disputed those claims and sought full control of the estate. She portrayed Pinto in court papers as a gold-digger who is trying to cheat the artist's rightful heirs.

Take your government hands off my senators

Filibusters don't kill bills, senators kill bills, according to McCain's gang of well-fed elderly mavericks (HuffPost, via ThinkProgress):
"We have so many new members of the Senate, about half of the senators have never seen the Senate work properly because they've only been here five or six years," [Sen. Lamar] Alexander said. "So we're trying to get back to the days when the motion to proceed wasn't used to block so many bills and when the majority leader allowed senators to offer almost any amendment. Most of that has to be established by practice, by good behavior, rather than by changing the rules."
Irate Chagrian senator during the Great Galactic War. From starwars.wikia.com.
It's just like child labor. Outlawing it missed the whole point; what they should have been focusing on was more good bosses, who would treat the little scamps with some kindness, see to their getting some kind of rudimentary education, make sure they had a nutritious lunch, and so forth. But no, liberals just couldn't resist getting involved and putting a stop to the whole thing by burdensome regulation, as usual, and what did we get?

Exactly what you'd expect, that's what. If you outlaw child labor, only outlaw children will have jobs, in fields like illegal drug retail marketing, sex trade, and worse—not to mention how much child labor simply got outsourced to places like Bangladesh and Honduras, cutting our country off from who knows what kind of economic growth.

In the same way, the senate worked just fine in the days of John C. Calhoun and Mark Hanna and silver-voiced Everett Dirksen. The problem nowadays isn't the rules of the institution, it's the inferior class of people that run it. No names, but you must have noticed some of those guys sneakily introducing legislation that could lower your ROI, and you know very well why: because the voters like it. Now they not only want to maneuver those Trojan horses into the chamber, they want to force folks to vote on them, just like in France or something. Can you imagine that? And a lot of those bills could pass!

Title

Big Heads

Of the Gehry addition to Art Gallery of Ontario the zombie has written much, but he did not have the advantage of the technology that allows one to put the camera on the floor and tilt it up with a spare coin and set the timer:



It looks quite nice at day's end in the soul-crushing winter darkness that demands suicide.

Other "nice" things were supplied by Evan Penny, who can make figures of people that are frighteningly realistic. Even scarier are recent projects that skew and squeeze those faces:



This series starts off fairly normal, right?



Camera error? Posterizing? Crazy Hipstamatic filter?



No, it was born that way:

Tooting my own Horne

It's always such a pleasure when a really well-drawn but minor character shows up after a long absence, like Thomas Pynchon's "Pig" Bodine or Chloris Leachman as Frankie Muñiz's vile crypto-Slavic grandmother in Malcolm in the Middle, so I'm gratified to report a sighting of Arizona's own White Whale, attorney general Tom Horne.

In the past, we've watched Horne as a champion in the conservative battle against racism, as when he fought bravely against the Tucson school district's Mexican-American Studies program ("It's just like the Old South, and it's long past time that we prohibited it"), or when he claimed (probably falsely and possibly perjuriously) to have participated in Martin Luther King's 1963 March on Washington. Now he shows up as a moderate in the struggle to arm America's schools, between the two extremes of making all the teachers pack heat (conservative) and doing nothing at all (apparently liberal?).

"The ideal solution would be to have an armed police officer in each school," Attorney General Tom Horne said in a news release Wednesday. But budget cuts have limited the number of Arizona schools with "school resource officers" on campus, he said.
The "next best solution," Horne said, "is to have one person in the school trained to handle firearms, to handle emergency situations, and possessing a firearm in a secure location." (CNN, via ThinkProgress)
The one person would be the principal, or "another designee". (I guess the real leftist extreme would be raising the property tax to pay for the real cop.)
Grandma Ida

There is awesome comedy material in this setup. Obviously nobody on the staff wants the job, if only because of the Weekend Warrior training aspect, and all the teachers are under orders from the union rep not to do it because it's not in the contract, and so it goes to the most unsuitable person on the staff, a suckup vice principal with delusions of grandeur. Presumably a man, but think Chloris Leachman. Only I don't see how it ends without some serious bloodshed.
Chloris Leachman's model? And Tom Horne's favorite music critic.

The Apocalypse Approaches

Won't somebody PLEASE think of the truffles?
PARIS — Just about everything in Eduardo Manzanares’s shop, Truffes Folies, is made with truffles. Sausage, cheese, spaghetti — even popcorn.

But during the year-end holidays, the main order of business is fresh truffles, especially the black or Périgord truffle, Tuber melanosporum. The prized mushrooms are used to stuff Christmas turkeys, chickens or capons, Mr. Manzanares said, making Dec. 24 typically the biggest truffle-eating night of the year in France.

But it is also becoming an increasingly expensive tradition. Black truffles and other types of truffles are becoming scarcer, and some scientists say it is because of the effects of global climate change on the fungus’s Mediterranean habitat. One wholesaler says prices have risen tenfold over the last dozen years.
Mind you it is only right and fitting that the best billionaires have truffles.

Responsibilities

The problem with a terrarium is that you really do have to keep an eye on it or the baby Jesus dies. Of course SOME people just chuck them out in the snow with the trash.

I Trust This Guy!

What an odd press release:
What I want you to know is that Zero Dark Thirty is a dramatization, not a realistic portrayal of the facts. CIA interacted with the filmmakers through our Office of Public Affairs but, as is true with any entertainment project with which we interact, we do not control the final product.
One of the complaints:
Second, the film creates the strong impression that the enhanced interrogation techniques that were part of our former detention and interrogation program were the key to finding Bin Ladin. That impression is false. As we have said before, the truth is that multiple streams of intelligence led CIA analysts to conclude that Bin Ladin was hiding in Abbottabad. Some came from detainees subjected to enhanced techniques, but there were many other sources as well. And, importantly, whether enhanced interrogation techniques were the only timely and effective way to obtain information from those detainees, as the film suggests, is a matter of debate that cannot and never will be definitively resolved.
Torture: maybe helpful.

Why release this at all?

Rob Ford is a JOKE

When will the city of Toronto address the severe undersupply of Pepsi Max?

Last night, blizzard:



Today I helped a gentleman push a snowbound car from an alley into oncoming traffic. Anything to help out insurance companies!

Why YES I will sing Positively 4th Street at your karaoke bar. What could go wrong?



Sweet Daddy Siki's career outlined here.

Talk of the Townhall

Thomas Sowell:
If someone wrote a novel about a man who was raised from childhood to resent the successful and despise the basic values of America -- and who then went on to become President of the United States -- that novel would be considered too unbelievable, even for a work of fiction. Yet that is what has happened in real life.
Not unbelievable, just postmodern. Anyway Nixon's been dead for years, why are you suddenly bringing him up now?

Just asking.
WFMY News, Greensboro.
And Ann Coulter:
Is it just me, or does Kwanzaa seem to come earlier and earlier each year?
That would be you, Ann. I'm guessing you've been getting that first drink earlier and earlier on December 25, so that the Kwanzaa kind of sneaks up on you.

And the extraordinary Robert Knight on the difference between charity and socialism,
in which income is forcibly seized and then redistributed to groups and individuals favored by government officials. Socialism is rooted in the formula from Karl Marx—“from each according to his abilities to each according to his needs.”
That’s a fine arrangement when voluntary, such as in families, churches and private charities. However, when imposed by force—and socialism is always accompanied by force since it violates human nature—it is soft tyranny masquerading as charity. 
I think if you accept all these premises you can prove that charity doesn't exist—it's not socialism if it's voluntary but it's never voluntary—but I won't swear to it. It could be that it violates human nature for government officials to give stuff to people outside their own families or religious affiliations. You could distinguish between homoagapism or giving to one's relatives and pew partners (the belief that charity begins—and ends—at home) and heteroagapism or giving to those who are not our sort, dear, which is necessarily violent, though also soft, i.e., socialism. I trust this is clear. In traditional political theory, of course, charity to one's relatives (nepotagapism) is the conservative mode of government.

From World News.

Dummies

The loving kindness of self-identified smart people:
The BBC and Mensa have both apologised after a leading member of the society called anyone with an IQ below 60 a “carrot” live on air.

Peter Baimbridge, a Mensa member, made the comments during an interview with BBC Breakfast.

He was being asked about the effectiveness of IQ tests at judging intelligence.

"So most IQ tests will have Mr and Mrs Average scoring 100 and the higher you get, the brighter you are. And if your IQ is somewhere around 60 then you are probably a carrot," Mr Baimbridge said.

A number of viewers contacted the programme to voice concerns over the remarks, which they said insulted people with learning difficulties.
It's a TEST for Christ's sake. I can do a crossword pretty quick, but other people can organize a budget.

Merry Christmas!

Here, have some horrible noises.

What would Christmas be without the enslavement of inferior life forms?



Also see The Godot Machine from the same guy. Via Artists in Laboratories.

Have a short list of research databases. I've never played with the Microsoft Academic Search and I should.

Oh Orly, when will you ever win?

Skepticism and sifting

James, the Snooker Kid, at the Conservative Club; London, 1997. From Fast Mikey's Pool Page.
The Apostolic Nuncio to 42nd Street, Mgr. Ross Douthat:
Like so many members of that class, Bloomberg combines immense talent with immense provincialism: his view of American politics is basically the famous New Yorker cover showing Manhattan’s West Side overshadowing the world, and his bedrock assumption is that the liberal paternalism with which New York is governed can and should be a model for the nation as a whole.

It’s an assumption that cries out to be challenged by a thoughtful center-right. If you look at the specific proposals being offered by Bloomberg and others, some just look like reruns of assault weapon regulations that had no obvious effect the last time they were tried. Others still might have an impact on gun violence, but only at a cost: the popular idea of cracking down hard on illegal handguns, for instance, would probably involve “stop and frisk” on a huge scale [....] But instead of a kind of skepticism and sifting from conservatives, after a week of liberal self-righteousness the spotlight passed instead to ... Wayne LaPierre.
So the Monsignor thinks LaPierre is a clown, and he's wondering how the right can come up with a dignified opposing partner to that leftist Bloomberg—more cosmopolitan than our bumpkin mayor (who lives on the East Side, thanks very much), with his Massachusetts accent, and equidistant from that imaginary center. He's not exactly sure what's called for, but he has an idea how it smells: "skepticism and sifting".

It's the urbane conservatism of yore! Remember? Brandy and cigars after dinner, and gossip about poor people, blacks and Jews, racehorses and actresses. People are savages, what can you do? Take away their guns and they'll kill each other with tire irons.

Your vulgar new-money conservatives seem to be all about doing things all the time; they didn't quite get the message that government is the problem. It'll be a terrible idea—build moats around all the schools, with alligators!—but an idea nevertheless. Your true clubbable conservative knew better: the job of the rulers is to cover their mouths while yawning, and be mildly amused.

But then some feel that when a bunch of little kids are murdered, mild amusement is not the appropriate response. Indeed Rabbi Jesus himself says something of the sort.

Showdown on Fiscal Bluff

As our national legislature seems to be intent on rolling its little red wagon over that fiscal pavement cut—bump!—Jared Bernstein has an idea why. They could pass that deal tomorrow, and Bernstein thinks it would be pretty good, as I have been predicting (but I've just been making it up, he has actual sources):
extend tax cuts on 98% of households; allow expiration for top 2% over $250K;
–suspend sequester (i.e., shut off automatic spending cuts)
–extend unemployment insurance, patch AMT and doc fix (I think that’s right on those last two–the latter refers to scheduled negative spike in payments to docs who see Medicare patients).
But they're not doing it now, because by God that would be raising taxes on Paris Hilton, as they say, and they weren't by God elected to do that.

So what's different on January 2? It's the perspective, stupid. That's when everybody's tax rates have gotten high and partying like it's 1999. If they do the deal then, Boehner can say he's presiding over the biggest tax cut in American history. And he will!
From QutaibaProtocol (really!).

Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Good Night

From On High






An irony of unimaginable proportions


On the conservative Liberty Counsel radio show Faith and Freedom, hosts Mat Staver and Matt Barber discuss the fact that an elementary school in Jackson County, Fla., removed a nativity scene while allowing Santa Clause and Frosty the Snowman to remain. “What an irony at this time of year, where Jesus gets put in the closet, and in California, where we’re litigating out there, where they’re wanting to make homosexuality the preferred method or topic of counseling discussions, but anything contrary to that would be banned,” said Staver.

“This is just an irony of unimaginable proportions,” he went on. “When we say there’s a war on Christmas and somebody says ‘oh,’ mockingly, ‘oh there’s no war on Christmas,’ this is a war on Christmas. This is discrimination, it is viewpoint-based discrimination.”

(Via Raw Story)
Houses of Parliament, London, February 2009. Photo by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images Europe.
If homosexuality is the method of the counseling discussion then it's not the topic, and if it's the topic then it's not the method, because anything contrary to that is banned, but you don't have to have counseling discussions at all, honestly, and most of us don't. At worst you can just have counseling. Let the record show that.

As to whether it's a war or not, that's a matter of perspective, isn't it? But to my way of thinking, there's something awfully violent about the concept of a war and it doesn't represent the way I feel, which doesn't even have anything directly to do with Christians and Christmasites; it's more about our own traditions and families, and preserving them the way they've always been.

I've been around Christians all my life, eaten and drunk with them, forged deep friendships. Hell, I've spent unforgettable nights with Christian girls—that was back in the seventies, of course, when the boundaries were a little looser than they are now. When women are Christian, it doesn't feel quite as unnatural, somehow; if I were a woman I might well be a Christian myself, because there really is something attractive about that church-lady combination of sweetness and competence. Sexy, even, as she wrestles you into position in the telephone tree or car pool.

With the men, there are the old stereotypes: the furtive, rabbity look, the damp hands and reedy voices, the inexplicable interest in organ music. But it was never more than a caricature. Indeed, nowadays they all seem to be gym bunnies, with arms like duct pipe! Star athletes, too, and fighter pilots, and politicians, giving it up for Jesus after making a 70-yard touchdown run or passing a bill to cut off somebody's food stamps. A little intimidating, to tell the truth.

We're a Frostine family, essentially. I mean like anybody else, we enjoy all the different aspects of the Yuletide, all the way through the Long Advent from Hallows to Isaac Newton's birthday on December 25th; and my mom's a grammarian by profession, so we have a special veneration for Santa Clause (we recognize her as a female in spite of her long white beard, and at Yule we do a wassail procession, chanting the Sanctae Clausulae from house to house). But it's the Snowman that gives the real, deep rhythm to our lives, in the recurring form of his annual sacrifice, from rolling up to melting down, so that his love can explode from the fields in the form of asparagus, and radishes, and lettuce and so forth, all the way until the Frost kisses the season's last pumpkin to sleep.

That's what Brother Martin always said, when he came around for a cup of wassail on Newton's Eve with real-snow Jack wax (what some call maple taffy) and doughnuts for us kids. If there'd been a good snowfall, as there always seemed to be at Yule when I was a kid, we would have rolled a fresh Frosty, and he used a Sharpie to dot its button eyes, bringing the Snowman to life, and he and my parents sat around drinking for a while and telling winter stories, and we'd stay up so late that we never remembered when he left or how we ended up in our pajamas, in bed, the next morning.

Bringing Baby Jesus into it—in his little corncrib, as if he were being fed to the cows—seems so incommensurate with the emotional tone of the whole thing. Happy barn-birth and merry massacre! It ought to be no wonder why we prefer him in the closet. Call it viewpoint-based discrimination if you will, but have a little compassion for a tradition in danger.
Harbin International Ice & Snow Festival, Harbin, China, January 2011. Photo by Sheng Li/Reuters.

From Greenland's icy mountains

Greenland. Image from Guide of Travels.
Sen.  John Barrasso (R-WY), via ThinkProgress:
We need to look at all of the issues, because what Wayne LaPierre and what the President of the United States agree on is that in this country, we have a culture of violence. [...]

I’m a strong supporter of our Second Amendment rights. I want to find real solutions. I want to find real solutions that work and Washington is not necessarily the place that you’re going to find those solutions. They will be found in our families and in our faith and communities and medicine and health care.
Fox News, via Crooks & Liars:
Malkin went on to address another topic: the fights that have erupted in malls over Air Jordan sneakers in several states, including one incident in Texas where two people were killed.
For instance, we know very well that guns don't people, people kill people; but does that mean we have to ban people altogether? Only a bureaucrat in Washington, D.C. would come up with a wrong-headed idea like that, a liberal eco-freako dream of Utopia, inhabited by every animal except for the species that keeps and bears arms—
What though the spicy breezes blow soft o’er Ceylon’s isle;
Though every prospect pleases, and only man is vile?
That approach would be like hunting gnats with an AR-15. I like to take my AR-15 out after squirrels, incidentally, because it blows them away so completely there's no cleanup. They're like nothing but fertilizer. But as I was saying, it's not just anybody that kills people, you see; it's bad people:
The truth is that our society is populated by an unknown number of genuine monsters,” [LaPierre] said. “People that are so deranged, so evil, so possessed by voices and driven by demons that no sane person can ever possibly comprehend them. They walk among us every single day."
That's what we learn from our faith. And not only are they bad, but they are armed.

So we've spoken about Air Jordans. We've talked about rap music. We've mentioned Mortal Kombat and Murphy Brown. And I'm sure you know what that means. If we're going to put an end to this culture of violence we're going to have to exterminate them all.



Precisely What You Need



Inconsistency

Holidays are apparently here...which likely means a lotta robot posting ahead.

I don't remember this from my youth at all, but we didn't even have NOVELTY soul where I grew up. In fact we had to make our soul music from leftover banjos and jugs and Kraft Dinner and we couldn't afford quarter notes and had to make do with dime notes and this sentence ends now.



Good part sampled/imitated to make this:



I dunno if "I am not illiterate, no, not even a little bit/Nothing like an idiot, get it?" achieves its purpose.

False Equivalency Department

William Hogarth, The Laughing Audience, 1753. From shakespeares-sonnets.com.
From the "news analysis" by Michael Shear in today's Times:
And many Republicans remember well when the tables were turned. After Mr. Bush’s re-election in 2004, Democrats eagerly thwarted his push for privatization of Social Security, hobbling Mr. Bush’s domestic agenda in the first year of his second term.
That's right! Jeez, what a bunch of spoilsports we were, back in the day! Wouldn't even let him privatize Social Security, for Pete's sake! And now look at us complaining, just because they don't happen to feel like helping us save our economy from imminent collapse, is that ironic or what?

But then again,
New polls suggest that Mr. Obama’s popularity has surged to its highest point since he announced the killing of Osama bin Laden. In the latest CBS News survey, the president’s job approval rating was at 57 percent.
See, the thing is, those voters totally hated the idea of privatizing Social Security, and they actually like the idea of saving our economy from imminent collapse. It's kind of why Obama won the election, because he didn't do the one and he did do the other. Call them saps if you like, but they're the ones who pay for the whole show (it's true! the donors only pay for the campaigning part), and Democrats always like to give them a little of what they came for.

Inventory control problem

From Cornell Publications, Brighton, MI.
Our canny retail entrepreneurs—Riverview Gun Sales in East Windsor, Connecticut:
In a video obtained by Eyewitness News, Jordan Marsh, 26, of South Windsor, can be seen stealing an AR-15 with a scope just four days earlier.
Marsh was caught stealing a 50-caliber long gun from the Riverview Gun Sales on Saturday. Police found the AR-15 in a duffel bag in a room at the Hartford Hilton that day.
Police said Riverview Gun Sales had no idea the AR-15 Marsh stole was missing. Management at the store didn't know about 11 guns that Marsh had allegedly stolen last year until they were notified by detectives.
Inventory control issues at Riverview Gun Sales have occurred before. In 2007, state police raided a Somers home and found a bunch of stolen guns from the store.
"It was found that the same Riverview gun store was missing upwards of 30-plus guns," said East Windsor police Detective Matthew Carl.
The owner of Riverview Gun Sales repeated what he said Wednesday that he was saddened that a gun sold at the store was used in the Newtown massacre.
(WFSB TV,via Crooks & Liars)
Yes, that was where Mrs. Lanza got her AR-15. An adorable little shop where everybody seems to be out to lunch, in one way or another. Wish they'd open up a bank in my neighborhood, some people have all the luck.

Surrealism

He was farther out than you thought, with a vengeance. From Christianist News Service (just kidding, Cybercast News Service) News:
Speaking from Capitol Hill on Friday morning after the lack of support for the plan, Boehner was asked, “What went wrong?”

He said, “Listen, there was a perception created that that vote last night was going to increase taxes. Now, I disagree with that characterization of the bill.  But that impression was out there.”

“Now we had a number of our members who just really didn’t want to be perceived as having raised taxes,” he said.  “That was the real issue.”

Boehner continued: “One of my colleagues the other night had an analogy of 100 people drowning in a pool and that he was the lifeguard.  And because he couldn’t save any of them, does that mean he shouldn’t have done anything?  And his point to them was, if I can go in there and save 99 people that are drowning, that’s what I should do as a lifeguard.”

“But the perception was out there, and a lot of our members did not want to have to deal with it,” he said.
Hold that analogy a second, I think it's trying to get away!
Image from Swimming Pool Safety News.
I figure Boehner meant to say "because he couldn't save all of them", because if he couldn't save any of them then he couldn't have saved 99. Obviously for a working lifeguard saving 99 lives in a single pool is a pretty big deal, and worthwhile even if one refractory swimmer goes and drowns anyhow.

But what's the analogy to, actually? Who's in danger of figurative drowning? Because I hadn't heard of the proposals of Plan B being meant exactly to save anybody, unless, well, the Republican members of the House, whose failure to participate in finding a way around or over that fiscal declivity might bring about their figurative extinction.

Or are all the members really lifeguards? Are the potential drowning victims the figurative 99 taxes that are getting lowered against one that is also getting lowered but is getting the perception created that it is getting increased? Or is it really getting increased, and hence a drowning victim, and creating the perception that all of them are getting increased by synecdoche, creating the lifeguards' weary negativity?

Or am I just vainly trying to separate the sheep analogies from the goat analogies? Baaa.

Evergreen

Sure, But Can My Prof Gun Down an Assailant?

Where should I go to school? I am WORRIED.
Traditionally PFUR is a recognized leader among Russian HEIs in ensuring complex security.
Good to know!
PFUR has a multilevel system of complex security services. So, physical security of the university territory and objects is realized by the Moscow Southwest District police department in charge of PFUR, by its own access control regulation system, as well as by private security companies. The coordination of department activities is realized by PFUR control center working 24/7.

More than 2 thousand video cameras set in all the facilities help the security staff to control efficiently the current situation. The control and access system which is set in all the pass-through posts of the University and also the automatic bars in the transport control posts make it possible for the security officers to realize a security of high quality within all the facility. They prevent from the unauthorized access to the territories, buildings and the residence of the University.
Okay, but what if something awful happens right now? How will you tell how the security was breached?
The information recorded by surveillance cameras and automatic fire alarm system sensors goes to the point of unified live observation - PFUR control center.

In addition, the information from surveillance cameras is received by monitors installed in PFUR police Emergency Control Centre. It allows the policemen to respond to violation of public order on campus immediately.

It must be emphasized that archiving of video information during a long period (up to several months) makes it possible to reproduce the past events recorded by surveillance cameras and thus helps investigation of potential crimes.
Okay, so what if I find a strange object?
How to behave if you find strange objects looking like explosive devices:

Be careful when you find strange objects. Do not touch them! If you find such an object in the University building or on campus immediately call 544 43 01.

What you should do:

- Do not touch, open or move the object!

- If you see any wires, do not touch or pull them!

- Make sure you remember the time you found the object.

- Keep people as far away as possible from the object.

- Wait for the police and security who will watch the object and call special services.

Remember that terrorists put explosives into different ordinary looking objects like bags, boxes, toys etc.

If you hear the evacuation announcement keep calm and follow the instructions. Don’t panic and rush.

Remember that lives of many people depend on how reasonable and disciplined you are.
Okay, but what if it's MY life people have to be reasonable and disciplined about? What if the terrorists have taken ME?
How to behave if you are taken hostage

Each hostage case is unique. Nevertheless there are some general rules that could help you save your life.

What you should do if you are taken hostage:

- Pull yourself together, keep calm, don’t panic!

- If you are tied up or have your eyes covered, try to relax and breathe!

- Be ready for a serious physical, moral and emotional challenge. Remember that most hostages are freed within 4-5 hours and 95% hostages stay alive. Do not doubt that the police and authorities are already taking all the necessary measures to save you.

- Do not try to escape if you are not fully sure you will succeed!

- Remember as much information about the terrorists as you can. It will be good to know how many they are, what arms and weapons they carry. Be ready to describe their special features, looks, accent, and behavior.

Try to define location.

Try to keep away from windows, doors and kidnappers themselves. Stay in safe places in case the police start the rescue operation.

How to behave with kidnappers:

- Do not be aggressive, do not make any sudden threatening movements, do not provoke kidnappers to act recklessly.

- Try to avoid eye contact.

- From the very beginning do all the kidnappers tell you to do.

- Be passively cooperating. Keep your voice calm. Avoid arrogant and insulting expressions, tone and behavior.

- If you have any health problems that can demonstrate in this situation, calmly tell the kidnappers about it.

Don’t let panic and confusion overwhelm you. Put up with possible hardships. Work with your mind.

In case of assault lie on the floor face down, fold your arms on the back of your head. Never run towards riot police- they may misinterpret your actions.

It may happen that at the beginning of the assault before you are identified you may be treated as a potential terrorist. You might be searched and interrogated and as a result you might experience emotional trauma. Try to understand that in such cases these actions are justified by the seriousness of the situation.
Gee, it looks like you folks have this all figured out. If I venture out from under the bed, perhaps I will attend Peoples' Friendship University.

MORE FRIENDSHIP UPDATE:

Ladies and gentlemen, Мисс РУДН 2012.

Call for support

Starlingskies Zombie Pops
Erik Loomis, who teaches history at the University of Rhode Island and blogs at Lawyers, Guns & Money, sent a Tweet last week to the following effect:

I was heartbroken in the first 20 mass murders. Now I want Wayne LaPierre’s head on a stick.

Now those apostles of nonviolence and compassion, Glenn Reynolds, Michelle Malkin, and others, want to see him punished for this savage and insurrectionary language, and indeed his career has really been threatened. He writes,
what really bugs me is that because of my intemperate language, we are talking about me and what others said about me instead of the policies of unrestricted ownership of killing machines that led to the death of 26 people in Connecticut last week and thousands around the United States and Mexico every year. I look forward to moving the conversation back to what really matters–regulations on guns.
Antique hand-painted doll's head. From Etsy.

That he did not threaten Wayne LaPierre's life in any way should be obvious to anyone who speaks English. Reynolds and Malkin and the rest are perfectly familiar with phrases like "heads will roll" and "I want his head on a platter". They are simply anxious to cause someone pain.

(You can support Eric Loomis here.)
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