It's The Last Week Of A Random Month-- Are You Ready For Tons Of Political Spam?

The DCCC and the other nefarious Beltway committees encourage their candidates to burn their lists and wreck on-line fund-raising. They would much rather go back to the old model that leaves out small donor grassroots activists who they find way too independent of party bosses. One way of doing this is to floor e-mail boxes with hundreds of annoying, contentless communications that most people find offensive and depressing.

This week candidates from all over the country sent me an internal DCCC memo urging them to get ready for their role in the end of February spam-o-thon. "Here are the generic end of month email texts," they happily told their zombie candidates. There were three. Would any of these cynical exercises in political bullshit get you to send money to the idiots who employ them?

EMAIL #1


NAME--

Our supporters are so incredible:

Since the start of the 2014 campaign, grassroots donors from all across STATE and beyond have chipped in to support CANDIDATE and everything he/she is fighting for. Thank you!

But, our opponents are already attacking CANDIDATE/gearing up to start attacking CANDIDATE any minute. As of this moment, we’re still lagging behind our goal for Friday’s critical fundraising deadline. Will you help us close the gap?

Please chip in $3 or whatever you can before Friday’s fundraising deadline >>

Thanks for all of your help,

CAMPAIGN



          24 hours


NAME--

My opponent, NAME/The Tea Party has taken things too far. With attack ads airing across the country, we need to make sure we’re in a position to fight back, immediately.

That’s why I’m asking you to step up before tomorrow’s midnight fundraising deadline and help us defend everything we’ve been fighting for.

Chip in $3 before midnight tomorrow to help fight against Tea Party attacks >>

We knew these attacks were coming, but we didn’t know they’d start so early.

Everything is on the table. Chip in right to help us be successful.

24 hours to go: Please chip in what you can today >>

Thanks for your support,
CANDIDATE



          Midnight


NAME,

We only have XX hours to go and we’re still coming up short.

I/We know that with your help, we can hit this critical goal. But -- if we don’t get every last grassroots supporter to pitch in, our campaign could be in bad shape. Will you help us close the gap before midnight?

MIDNIGHT DEADLINE: Please chip in $3 or whatever you can right now to help us hit our critical grassroots fundraising goal >>


This election was never going to be easy.  With your help, we’ll be ready for whatever comes our way.  Let’s get to work.

Thanks,
SIGNER

And if you do contribute to any DCCC candidates, your name is immediately sold to political spammers and your box will be bulging with this kind of crap until you manually request to be unsubscribed from each DCCC-related list. Contentless political communications are an insult from the candidate to you. Take it under advisement.