That statement still surprises me sometimes, even though I've been saying it for six months. I feel like a 23 or 24 year old at the most. I feel like I'm home for a college break, and we'll be heading back to Athens in a few weeks. I still think about the fact that I'm married and am totally shocked in myself. Then I think about us having kids anytime soon and my head explodes.
But besides the whole married and potentially having kids anytime soon thing, I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life.
I have a degree in journalism. And I have absolutely zero desire to do anything journalism related. I got into the non-profit world. Then I got married. And I realized a few things. I hate grant writing. I love event planning.
I planned a wedding for 175 people. I've planned golf outings for over 150 people. I absolutely love the insane amount of work and stress, all resulting in an amazing event where I can sit back and just enjoy the fact that I planned it all.
But that love for events? No idea what to do with it. Nonprofit life? Corporate world? Wedding planning? Party planning? Stay at home mom? Oh wait...that last one snuck in there.
I hate not knowing what's going to happen. I hate being so unsure of my future. I have been in my current job for almost 3 years. And I've loved it so much. But is it what I want to do for the rest of my life? I'm thinking probably not, but who knows?
I wish I could say I'll be happy to just enjoy the ride and see what happens, but that's a major struggle for me. I've always been a planner; the person everyone calls to ask what is going on. And for me to not know the plan for my life? Talk about terrifying and frustrating all in one.
So I guess I'll continue to be terrified and frustrated and unsure of my future. And I'll keep looking and hoping that a little birdy will come to me in a dream and tell me what to do with my life. Or, if that doesn't work out, I'll just keep trying!
