I mean drifting apart from a friend. That friend that you always thought would be there for you. And they have been. Up until the day they weren't. And there is no clear reason as to why the friendship fizzled away. It just happened.
Someone who I had considered one of my best friends didn't come to my wedding. He had RSVPed yes. Now that's not enough for me to consider the friendship over. But I have not heard from him since.
Another friend, my best friend in high school, was seriously my rock and main support system when I was in the Czech Republic. Daily letters, monthly packages, as many phone calls as we could. When I returned home, there was a shift. We tried to make it last through the summer but when we both left for college in the fall, it was just over.
And it hurts. Looking at photos and memories with these friends- it physically hurts. And makes me want to cry. Even though the one friendship has been over for a lot longer, the pain is still there.
Taking a step back, that loss still hurts. Especially when these friends still live in my hometown. But when I'm the only one ever making phone calls or stopping for a visit. Or when a so called friend makes you cry on your wedding day because said friend wasn't invited.
And then I realized one sided friendships are just not worth my time. I'm kind of an awesome friend (and very modest, obviously). But really, I believe I can be (and have been) the best friend who will drop anything to be there for you.
That realization of "It's not me. It's them" took me a while to get to. And while I don't think the hurt of losing a friend in this way will ever truly go away, these friendships, and the loss of these friendships, have made me a stronger person.
