Last week at work, I found myself apologizing to multiple people for things that weren't my fault. Coworkers. Board members. Bosses. My husband. Random people at the grocery store.
Why is it that so often I apologize for things? That in no way, shape or form are my fault. And there is absolutely zero reason for me to apologize for said things.
I think part of this is the fact that I don't like awkward situations. And if someone else made a mistake (especially if it is someone in a professional setting), I don't like to call them out. Calling out a coworker or a board member for an error? Talk about uncomfortable.
I tweeted last night about how I was struggling for the words for this post. A friend I've known since 3rd grade replied, saying we apologize for things we have no control over because we want to avoid confrontation. And that people who do this are people pleasers.
Damn that part of me. I like people to be happy. I dislike confrontation and people being angry, especially in any way that is related to me. So I apologize again and again and again to avoid this.
Ashten also replied to my tweet, saying that she had heard that women say they are sorry more frequently than men. The feminist in my is so angered about this. But it's the truth. So often you hear women apologizing over and over (too frequently apologizing to men) for something they have no control over.
Is it a cultural thing? Is it that women just tend to be more people pleasers than men? Why do I have that constant need to say I'm sorry, when really I have nothing to be sorry for?
I wish I had an answer to any of these questions. I don't.
What I do know is that I will be making an effort to only apologize for things I am truly sorry for.
You forgot a meeting? Not sorry because it's your fault you didn't read the email I sent you.
You made a mistake? I'm not sorry you ignored what I told you 12 times.
The apartment is a mess? Not sorry- I really enjoyed watching Hulu instead of cleaning. Ok maybe a little sorry to the husband for this one...
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